Episode 261 with Daniel Andrews: Secrets of Genuine Networking and Relationship Building

In this episode of the Ready Yet?!  Podcast I am talking to Daniel Andrews about the art of genuine networking, connections, and relationship building—key elements that have been instrumental in both my and Daniel's business success. From the importance of mutuality and strategic relationship investments to the nuances of giving and receiving correctly, Daniel shares actionable insights and personal anecdotes that highlight his journey and expertise. 

GUEST RESOURCES

Daniel Andrews is a native of Columbia, South Carolina where he currently resides after an absence of 13 years. He owns a business that shows businesspeople how to identify, find, meet, and nurture professional relationships with Key Referral Partners. Fundamentally, he shows businesspeople how to STOP “networking,” and START building true networks. This is his fourth career; he’s been successfully self-employed for 35 years (49 if you start with the lemonade stand in first grade). 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/niasoutheast

https://danielpatrickandrews.com

https://www.facebook.com/DanAndrewsNIA

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Transcript

Episode 261 with Daniel Andrews: Secrets of Genuine Networking and Relationship Building

Transcribed by Descript 

Erin Marcus: All right, welcome, welcome to this episode of the ReadyUp podcast. I'm excited about today's guest, Mr. Daniel Andrews, for a variety of reasons. One, he's got swords in the wall behind him, so that's cool. I'm a man of my own taste there. Two, you wouldn't believe how hard it was for us to connect the tech.

Erin Marcus: Tried to keep us apart, tried more than once to keep us apart. We were determined to not let that happen. And three, your topic of genius is one of my favorite things. It's how to live my life. It's how I've grown multiple businesses. It's primary to me as far as what's most important and that's connections and networking and relationships.

Erin Marcus: So before we dive into that, why don't you give people a little formal introduction of who you are and what you do? 

Daniel Andrews: Sure. Daniel Andrews, which is a hard name to Google. So because of the number of hits that come up, I'll tell you more about that at the end, how to find me correctly. You're searching for me will not work on the Internet.

Daniel Andrews: But I live in Columbia, South Carolina. This is my hometown, grew up here, went off to college, came back, ran a business here for 13 years. Moved to St. Louis for 10 years, three years in Houston, we also came up on first marriage there. Moved back home seven and a half years ago in the fall of 2016. In the summer of 2017, I messaged a woman that I had one date with in 1984.

Daniel Andrews: Love it. At Facebook. She was living in LA but I messaged her and two years later we got married. So we married. That's awesome. Years now. Yeah. Been married five years now to 

Erin Marcus: Nice 

Daniel Andrews: fun date with Yeah. People say What about your first date? I'm like, my first date or my second, first date. . Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel Andrews: There is such a thing as a second, first date. And she's a lot of my life. So that's why I focus on that professionally. This is career number four. My first half of my career was in business to consumer sales, literally direct sales, literally kitchen table, both coaching and executing.

Daniel Andrews: And learned a lot of tools that serve me in other capacities, learned some things I had to unlearn that don't work in a B2B setting or at least not in the same quite capacity. You had to go back to the principle behind it, which is, the principle is always universal. The technique may vary from environment to environment.

Daniel Andrews: And struggle, right? You gave me the recognition of saying his particular genius is around connection, but I would then posit the story supposedly of Itzhak Perlman walking home, from the rehearsal hall one day and stopped by a random tourist in New York who said, excuse me, sir, can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?

Daniel Andrews: And he said practice, right? Meaning, and he claimed he wasn't a genius. He was a drudge. He just refused not to work at it. People that knew me in my first career in this town moved away, came back and they're like, wait a minute, dance teaching relationships skills. It was not my genius in the 90s.

Daniel Andrews: And I think the best person to coach around stuff like this typically somebody that's. was had to get good because if it comes to you naturally, that's great. It's a gift. You should take advantage of it, but 

Erin Marcus: it's hard to teach other people how to do it because you don't know how to do it. You just do it.

Daniel Andrews: I know the difference between where I was and where I need, 

Erin Marcus: right? 

Daniel Andrews: I know the difference. And again, I think I learned some early skills, but I don't understand the principle behind them until I experienced other things. And I don't know if we have time to go for the origin story, right? And some people put it, but I can definitely paint the picture of the moment where I went, Oh, building a network is very different than networking.

Erin Marcus: It's so different. It's so different, right? I had somebody. Say networking is just right. That's just going out meeting people, your network, who will respond to you when you reach out, 

Erin Marcus: right? It's not 

Erin Marcus: your followers. Your followers aren't your network. Your followers are people who click a button and see your face.

Erin Marcus: Your email list is not your network. They're a little bit closer, right? They're a little closer than your followers. They've at least exchanged their email. For one reason or another, but your network, the way that I describe it is who will actually respond to me if I reach out. 

Daniel Andrews: Yeah. Suzanne Taylor King said, just because you're in their phone doesn't mean they will answer their phone.

Daniel Andrews: And even LinkedIn doesn't call them your network. They call them your connections. Your phone calls it, your contacts. And I think network implies two things from what it implies an elevated degree of connectivity, 

Erin Marcus: but it 

Daniel Andrews: also implies the people that they're connected to. Yeah, because if it's not actually a network, then it's just your closer friends or closer professional contacts, right? Meaning it doesn't need to be called a network. The word network implies that you have enough credibility with those people to get introduced to the people they have credibility with. And people lose sight of what's accessible.

Daniel Andrews: This was very fascinating. I see why I say that's a minute. But for several months ago, it occurred to me like six or seven months ago that if we could see who the other people know, as we talked to the Aaron Marcus's and the Suzanne Taylor King's and the Mike Fester's of the world, awful modest and, the people that are my mentors in a lot of cases, right?

Daniel Andrews: If we could see who they knew as we talked to them, um, we would engage with them a little more sincerely and a little more in depth because we know that they can be, we can be of service to people that they know by connecting with those. And, what do they call it?

Daniel Andrews: Augmented reality, right? I was waiting for the the the holograms to be behind your head. Okay. Now get this, and I'm going to force you to talk to me to get access to this. So anybody listening can come through me. Someone else has created a tool that when you are in a zoom networking event, And you're using this tool.

Daniel Andrews: Everybody else that's using this tool in the room, you can see the cloud. It will tell you not who's in the room, but who Aaron Marcus knows that you need to get to know and rate them on a scale of 1 to 10. Oh, wow. You need to know them. And all of a sudden, there's that cloud floating behind people's heads.

Daniel Andrews: And I want to emphasize that I think that I will create more sincerity, not less. And what I mean by that is if I understand that I can't be of ultimate value to Aaron or that Aaron can be of ultimate value to me, but I can see who she knows, I'm actually going to invest more time in getting to know Aaron and asking her to look at my cloud, my LinkedIn profile, ask her to define what connections serve her.

Daniel Andrews: Because I'm actually going to be more sincere because if I'm just in the moment where I'm like, is there I'm going to buy my thing? Never then forget this. 

Erin Marcus: And that is so not networking, right? That is not 

Daniel Andrews: prospecting is what it's 

Erin Marcus: prospecting. And I think there's a few things, few mistakes I watch people make.

Erin Marcus: That's number one is prospecting and not networking. And then to me, this happens in networking as well as prospecting. A mistake where people think that the way it works is I meet somebody, I say one brilliant thing and they buy my widget or I meet somebody, I say one brilliant thing and they refer me tons of business 

Daniel Andrews: that's called marching by hand, which is the same time.

Daniel Andrews: It's still one dimension, right? 

Erin Marcus: It's still one dimension. And the really cool thing. And part of this is getting older. I can connect with someone only twice a year and feel very connected with them because of how time, how fast time goes. I don't need to talk to you every month. I don't have time to talk to you every month.

Erin Marcus: But if you and I have two good interactions a year and the rest of the time we're just liking and supporting each other passively, I feel connected to you. 

Daniel Andrews: That is correct. And people, the people think. That maintenance requires a lot of contact. And here's my point. If you've built credibility, don't screw it up.

Daniel Andrews: If you, I can reach out to people that haven't talked to you in five and 10 years, and people do it to me as well. And they asked me for a resource and introduction and It doesn't matter that we haven't connected recently. Now, if all they did was randomly text me, lead this referral out prospect, and there wasn't any mutuality, it would probably deteriorate, right?

Daniel Andrews: So some people think you have to be in touch with folks all the time. And the reality is your network is not necessarily people that you're in consistent contact with. It's just people who answer your call. And in my case, that can go back as much as 20 

Erin Marcus: I just had this happen to me, there was a gentleman, I believe we traded podcast two years ago, we hit it off, we had so much fun getting to know each other, we knew eventually we we wanted to do something together.

Erin Marcus: Passively over the last two years, commenting, oh my god you showed up in my feed, literally nothing more than that. And it finally connected where I sent something out. He goes that's how we can work together. We've already talked about it. 

Daniel Andrews: It's 

Erin Marcus: not that hard. 

Daniel Andrews: Now the reverse mistake that I think some people make is some reluctance to engage with people consistently to ask for prospects, which is fine.

Daniel Andrews: If you are. Consistently supporting them, right? Meaning it's really weird to me that economy people say, I love giving referrals. I love, connecting people. But it's awkward for me to ask. I'm like, wait a minute, you love it, but you're going to rob someone else of the chance to feel the same joy and supporting you.

Daniel Andrews: And so the converse of, oh my God, I can't maintain that many relationships. Yeah, you can because you don't, you need to not screw them up. That's how you maintain most of them. But then this woman was just asking me the other day, I was on a call that the context isn't important, but I was speaking to about a hundred people via Zoom, and she said you know how often you go back to the same person and ask for another referral?

Daniel Andrews: I said, let's go back to my definition, which was key referral partnership. I said, are you providing something for them? Yes. If on the average, every time you meet, you provide them with value and they provide you with value, how often would you want to be 

Erin Marcus: right? 

Daniel Andrews: I said, now, clearly the quality of the reciprocation, like there were the quality of the mutuality is different in, let's say a partnered relationship, a personal relationship.

Daniel Andrews: I said, but do you just check in with your spouse once a week on the principle that. I wouldn't want to ask too much from you, sweetie, right? Yeah, no, I have joy in my encounters with her. She has joy in her encounters with me. And as far as the two of us are concerned, there's nothing to say to that, right?

Daniel Andrews: Because there's, we, neither one of us feels taken advantage of. So 

Erin Marcus: I also think For me, I also consider not everybody is in equal situation to refer to everybody else. That's just because of what some of us do for a living. Correct. Correct. Other people do for a living. Yes. So I do consider giving referrals, I call it the business bucket of the universe.

Erin Marcus: It doesn't have to be linear. If I give to the business bucket of the universe, the business bucket of the universe gives to me, 

Daniel Andrews: Now there's like many things, there's a fine line, okay? And I knew this in my heart, and I recently was challenged by Suzanne Taylor King to read a particular book, the first chapter is all you really need, and I can summarize the whole first chapter for you in the next 45 seconds, but it pointed out something that I knew to be true, and when you hear it, you'll be like, okay, that actually does make sense.

Daniel Andrews: Okay. And number one, I do believe that most of us need to be in a position where we're giving unselfishly in many capacities. There's people that we mentor. That whole thing about the average of the five people I hang out with the most means somebody's bringing the average down, right?

Daniel Andrews: But that's okay because somebody mentored me, right? I was bringing their average down in a moment. And now I'm and do I contribute time and money to nonprofits and to charities and to people that need, what I have to, I have resources that I have. Absolutely. I do believe there's a moment to, as you put it, give to the universe.

Daniel Andrews: Okay. Having said that, there's a clear record, 6, 000 years recorded history, that says there is no law of reciprocity. There is no karma in the world, right? You read Job in the ancient literature, he lived a great life, and terrible things happen now. Okay, so here's the awareness. The book is Adam Grant's Give and Take.

Daniel Andrews: Adam Grant wrote several books. The book Give and Take, in the first chapter, he said something that I knew in my heart to be true, and it was good to see it documented. And this is very fascinating, and it's worth thinking about. And that's this. He said that you can look at people's networking styles. You just always get a very quick similar network, ring styles and fairly clearly delineate with a little bit of observation, a few data points.

Daniel Andrews: Are they givers, net givers, are they net takers, or are they matchers, people that shoot for some degree of let's keep the score even in reciprocity, okay, which makes sense. I don't need to get any deeper than that. Givers, takers, matchers. That's enough for this discussion. Then he says you can look at high, medium, high, medium, medium low levels of success over a career.

Daniel Andrews: You can take a 30, 40 year span and look at it. In the highest categories of success, the very highest, which do you think you find the most, givers, takers, or matchers? 

Erin Marcus: I would say the matcher people. 

Daniel Andrews: Givers are in the highest categories of success. In the lowest categories of success, givers, takers, or matchers.

Erin Marcus: Takers. 

Daniel Andrews: Givers. 

Erin Marcus: Are in the lowest as well. 

Daniel Andrews: And the takers and matchers clump in the middle. Got it. Because you can give wrong. Oh, 

Erin Marcus: absolutely. 

Daniel Andrews: I can paint two really clear pictures that, things that people say that will absolutely hammer this point. I'm in a community where the guy's leading and he's talking about reciprocation, which is not a word I like, because it's matching and that's not a good energy.

Daniel Andrews: Mutuality is, and he's always be the one to give first. And I always put in the chat box, that's mathematically impossible. You can't put Daniel and Aaron in a room and go, give first. One of us is lunging at the other with duct tape going, I dibs on going first, right? That's BS. So you and the other 

Erin Marcus: thing that I see mess this up for people is intention.

Daniel Andrews: That's it. It comes down to the intention. If I show up in the heart to give, then I can receive first because I know in my heart, either in a moment or a month or a year, I'm going to give back. And 

Erin Marcus: also, truthfully, too many people, more women than men, too many people, give. Because they do not feel worthy of receiving.

Erin Marcus: That's a different problem. It is. It is. You can't give enough away to feel better about yourself. It just, that's not 

Daniel Andrews: how that works. Correct. And the antidote to that is either a therapist, which will take you years, a coach, which should take you months, or this one simple thought. You're going to rob that person of the joy they feel in giving.

Daniel Andrews: I don't care how it makes you feel. You're telling me that your joy in giving trumps anybody else's right to feel. Oh my God. 

Erin Marcus: Seriously. 

Daniel Andrews: It's crazy. You've got to be kidding me. And I think a lot 

Erin Marcus: of people suffer or complain out of martyrdom that it it's ego disguised as Yeah, like the one thing I will say over and over again is the absolute hardest conversation you'll ever have as an honest conversation with yourself. 

Erin Marcus: Oh my God. 

Erin Marcus: So look at what you're doing. But I also know. That if I'm in a situation where I'm giving, giving, and I'm not getting anything back, you've got to give.

Erin Marcus: You've got to start, at least for me, I've got to start out giving out of neutral, without expectation. 

Daniel Andrews: Correct. 

Erin Marcus: That doesn't mean throw good money after bad. That doesn't mean throw good time after bad. Throw good resources after bad. But I've got to start from a place of neutral because if I start from a place of expectation and I'm already keeping score, it already feels weird.

Daniel Andrews: And here's, yes, you are 100 percent correct. And, This is my awareness around that, and it came up in one way, and I'm practicing in a different way, and I don't mind saying out loud exactly, what that's going to be in terms of people connecting with me, right? And and by the way, we're discussing these problems, and all I'll say this moment is, I have worked out the solution.

Daniel Andrews: So yes, there is an answer to that. , we won't have time for it today, but you will be able to find, I would say, I wish I can 

Erin Marcus: solve all your problems in 30 minutes, but that's not how this goes, 

Daniel Andrews: not how this goes, but I work on this all day, every day. Okay. And so the awareness is it goes back to giving wrong.

Daniel Andrews: So I'm on someone else's live stream. And he says to me, Dan, you talk about being intentional versus haphazard or accidental. And he says, but you also talk about being relational over transaction. I said, but if you're being, but when you say be strategic about who you build with. Isn't, doesn't that imply a degree of transactionality and not relationality?

Daniel Andrews: And he said, I'm not saying that it is, he said, but it landed on my ears in a way that made me wonder, and it might be true for some of my listeners. And I said, fine, I know the answer is no, I have to sort out how to articulate that because it's the first time I've been asked that particular question. So I said, entertain the crowd for a minute.

Daniel Andrews: So 60 seconds later, I'm waving at the camera. I'm like, all right, I'm ready. He goes, what are you getting at? And I said, let me start you with a simple question. Is your message worth amplifying? And he goes, Yeah, I said, Let me phrase it differently. Do you do good in the world? He goes, Yeah, I said because if you didn't, you did good in the world, you'd either do something different or you do it, but you do it differently.

Daniel Andrews: And he goes, I said, Okay, so your message is worth amplifying. Do other people have a message that's worth amplifying? And he's yeah. I said, okay, great. Let's hold on to that. You're going to spend this much time on the planet alive, this much time on the planet awake, this much time on the planet at work, and this much time on the planet dealing with other people.

Daniel Andrews: If that's the case, don't you owe it to your message, and by that I mean to the people that you hope to serve. Because our calling is not what we do. It's what happens in other people when we do what we do. Don't you owe it to your message. Don't you owe it to the people that you hope to serve to hang out with people.

Daniel Andrews: Who are positioned to amplify your message and your position to amplify their message because we've only got so much time to put into it. It's not that Aaron never gave to me. So I need to pull back. It's that I owe it to Aaron to put her somewhere where she can provide mutual support where she can give and get because there's only so much time on this planet and I'm in disservice to her to keep her captured to me.

Daniel Andrews: And here's what's also interesting. Anybody with any degree of character, not everybody has it, but most people do, will pull away from you if you overgive. My grown daughter argues with me over who's paying for dinner. 

Erin Marcus: Yes. 

Daniel Andrews: And I'm like, ma'am, it's your inheritance. It's all coming out of the 

Erin Marcus: same bucket.

Erin Marcus: And I even said that to my stepdad, right? 20, 30 years ago, I said that to my stepdad, we were visiting my cousin. And at their sailboat, and my stepdad at the time was like, he loved boats, he loves this, he loves boats, didn't have one at the time. And you could just see how much he meant to him. And I said, you've, between the two of you, you've got five kids who are all fine.

Erin Marcus: If you're not going to do this now, we're running out of years here. Don't you think we would rather come visit you on your boat than wait 30 years to get a couple more bucks? 

Daniel Andrews: Yeah, 

Erin Marcus: that's people don't want. 

Daniel Andrews: So you can overdo it. Receive it appropriately. You, and if you have friends that you go out with and occasionally one of you buys because the other buys, if one of them insists on buying all the time, very soon you would stop accepting invitations because it just feels wrong.

Daniel Andrews: Yeah. And so you owe it to the relationship to give the other person a chance to provide some mutuality. I don't believe in scorekeeping. But creates a mutuality and I have made up things that people can do for me to make it even, right? It's like search 

Erin Marcus: and rescue dogs. If they don't find live people, you gotta go hide in the rubble until they feel better about themselves.

Daniel Andrews: Right? Somebody wasted a car dealer. And that's relevant story. Wasted 12 hours of my life one time, and the backstory is not important. And he kept apologizing when I finally got in touch with him, later that day. And he's I'm sorry. I said, I'll accept the apology on two conditions.

Daniel Andrews: And he said, what's that? And I said, number one, that you stop apologizing. You don't have a time machine, so why are we talking about 10 a. m.? You can't fix it. You apologize. I accept it. By the way, the phrase is never, it's okay. The phrase is, I accept your apology, because it's not okay. And I said, all right, fair enough.

Daniel Andrews: What's the second condition? I said, by the time I come back here, I'm probably going to need an oil change. Oh, I can do that. I'll even set up with the service managers. You don't have to wait. Just let me know what day you're coming back and I'll put you on the books and we'll take care of that.

Daniel Andrews: And I left and my coworker's you're so smart. I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, you got an oil change out of that. I said, out of 12 hours of my life, I 

Erin Marcus: overpaid for that oil change. 

Daniel Andrews: I said I told Corey, all I need is an oil change for Corey's benefit. For the benefit of the relationship. It is a lie that makes us even, but it is true that there are no time issues.

Daniel Andrews: Everybody feels better now. Correct. And he and if he thought it through, he'd realize it doesn't make us even, but we can both pretend that it made us even. Which is critical for the relationship because if Corey in the back of his mind remembers I let Daniel down, after a while my emails are going to ping a negative feeling in his gut and he's not going to read them and my phone calls are not going to get returned because it pings a negative feeling in his gut and he doesn't know why, but he's going to pull away from me because he's And he'll might never even know why because all he remembers is we weren't even and he believes we're even now and so I did this in service to my relationship to Corey and his peace of mind, not because I need a change.

Daniel Andrews: I ended up trading off for windshield wipers. What's that? I'm like, no way. 

Erin Marcus: And this brings up a thought for me, because one of the things that I warn some of my clients about, and I've seen this happen so many times, is be careful who you let hook their cart to your horse. And I think I, it's not exactly networking that I'm talking about, but it is relational.

Erin Marcus: It's the same concept. And I've had situations where, and I don't think people do this intentionally maliciously, by the way, I think what happens in small business world is you can get excited when you see an opportunity for success and to partner with someone who's braver than you. And not, again, not in even any consciously malicious way.

Erin Marcus: But you want to be part of something and I've watched this happen over and over again where there's been like a rising star someone who's really puts the work in and somebody else sees an opportunity to contribute, but they're not at the same. They're not at a reciprocal level. They're not at a match.

Erin Marcus: They're not at a mutual. There's the opportunity almost doesn't even exist. And then the person who thought person A was gonna take them with them actually gets mad when it doesn't happen. 

Daniel Andrews: I, and this is a much broader psychological context, but I'm trying to remember exactly who I was coaching on this the other day, but I said if we want something long enough, we will convince ourselves that we need it, and if we need it long enough, we will convince ourselves that we need it.

Erin Marcus: Oh, that way. Okay. That is huge. If we want something long enough, we'll convince ourself we need it. 

Daniel Andrews: And if we 

Erin Marcus: convince ourself we need it, we'll convince ourselves we deserve it. 

Daniel Andrews: We deserve it. And then we get angry when it doesn't appear, right? All of the ups and the downs. It's entitlement, 

Erin Marcus: right? It's, I've been working so hard.

Erin Marcus: How come it's for everyone? But I didn't get it yet. 

Daniel Andrews: But you're working hard at the wrong thing, right? 

Erin Marcus: Yeah, 

Daniel Andrews: This, relates to the pre show conversation that we had, but there are people that started with me at the same company I did, which has a great reputation as a proving ground, setting people up for success.

Daniel Andrews: That started 15 years after I did that have moved on. They've surpassed me. Now what's interesting is I'm catching up and I don't mean in terms of, dollar value, your revenue. But I'm now moving back to these people and going, I know you mentored me a long time ago, right? But I'm in a position to provide some value to you just because I've gone in a different direction.

Daniel Andrews: And, and, very much, a peer thing, right? And then it goes back to some of our pre show conversation, which just doesn't bear repeating. It's not that it can't be repeated, but it doesn't bear repeating here. But, Yeah, and you're correct. So yes, is there a role in the world for you providing some degree of support to someone else?

Daniel Andrews: Yes. Should you be careful who you let hitch their wagon to your start? Absolutely. Meaning, I will always be willing to show people how to do the work, but if you do not allow them to do the work, then they don't experience the success. And I saw this in one of my particular careers. Would bring somebody on to help. I need you to help me with my projects. And, you get a small percentage, but I need you out with a project, but you need to go find some of your own projects. They would trail me around forever and would never go kill their own deals for 70 percent of the kill.

Daniel Andrews: They would only that I very quickly taught them that you don't have the skill set. Or you don't need to work and they would rather wait for me to close another deal and get 30 percent of it than to go out and close their own deal and get 70 or 100%. And I'm like, this is mind boggling to me. 

Erin Marcus: And I'm, I, again, lead with empathy.

Erin Marcus: I get it. If it was easy, everyone would do it, but maybe this isn't for you. 

Daniel Andrews: There's other opportunities. Yes. Is it our fault? Because we, we fed them, right? It's the old story of, if you try to open up the cocoon for the butterfly to get out, you destroy its ability to prove itself with the muscle tone that it needs.

Daniel Andrews: And that, that's an important part of this. Um, anyway, we got past connection, pretty fast, but it does involve a degree of mutuality in giving people opportunity to serve through, okay oh, I said I was going to reveal my strategy right here, okay?

Daniel Andrews: I hold a lot of what I call quick connects or first paired interviews. The first time you and I meet, I call it quick connect. It's a paired interview. And I will ask people, who do you serve? What do you do? Who do you serve? What's a good cure for what it looks like for you? And usually I end up taking, Quite a number of notes, resources, introductions, prospects, potential prospects, key referral, potential key referral partners.

Daniel Andrews: And I used to go to my computer and be like, all right, let me create these for you. And they're like, all right. And, because they've asked me the same questions, right? I'll shoot some stuff back and they don't. I don't think it's because their heart is in the wrong place, right? It's because.

Daniel Andrews: There's just no urgency, right? There's no, I get it. They're thinking about their business, not mine. Totally understand. So what I'm going to now, and I'm going to be really in front of it. If anybody watches this, by the way, I'm fine with it because I don't mind going on record because I'm going to say, I'm going to put about 30 to 45 minutes into copying my handwritten notes into a database.

Daniel Andrews: Doing some searches and some looking around for who I might want to introduce you to Thinking about what resources might be appropriate for you And then i'm going to get back with you and offer you these resources and introductions I want you to tell me which ones you want which ones you don't and how to queue them up because you might not want To be introduced the same way to everybody Now you've got my profile of who i'm looking for, right?

Daniel Andrews: So i'm going to send you my calendar link and whenever you're ready to support me You I don't want to phrase it that way. Whenever you're ready, I'll just leave it at that, put yourself on my calendar, I'll have my notes, and you and I will both share introductions in real time, and coach each other on the best way to do that.

Daniel Andrews: And I suspect that a vast majority of them will do that. 

Erin Marcus: I think people want, I think people really do want to do this. I think a lot of people don't really know how. 

Daniel Andrews: Now whether it turns into a regular thing with that many people. Remains to be seen. We might not have a position to do much past one pass through the database.

Daniel Andrews: But I believe most people will. I really do. And those that don't goes back to what you said, right? You can only show up so often in a capacity, right? And it's accurate that I'm investing that much time. People think I just sat there for the 20 minutes zoom and we're done. No, I'm putting time and energy into entering the notes, making them searchable because you may be who someone else is looking.

Daniel Andrews: Doing my control. I have to find who, the keywords that you need to find the people that we're looking for. And sometimes I know I'm off the top of my head, which is why I take notes in real time, but the fact is I put time into building that, that database, right? So it does represent a significant time on my part.

Daniel Andrews: And if you're not going to invest some time, it's okay. And I may send you some resources, but until we're at a point where you're willing to show up. Now, if you email me and said, Dan, I can, all I've got is two, but you said you had some stuff for me and I want to be honest, all I've got is two. I'll still book that.

Daniel Andrews: And I don't have, I'm not keeping score, but it goes back to, do you do the work for them? Meaning, I believe that most people will book that. They'll experience the effort of putting themselves on my calendar and then going, I better be thinking about Daniel Andrews for the next couple of weeks.

Daniel Andrews: And then they show up and now they know what it's like. I've gone to the gym and I've worked out for a minute and now I know what it feels like. And you want me to keep showing up at Daniel Andrews gym and keep working out like this? Or is this not for me? But I believe that it's in service not to get rid of people who low energy or won't reciprocate.

Daniel Andrews: It's to give them the chance to learn what it looks like to create mutuality and then discover if they enjoy it. Number 1 and number 2. If she and I, he and I. Well, 

Erin Marcus: and what I really love about this, and I think everyone says that they network, everyone goes to networking events, and I think the majority of people walk in a door, and that's the extent of what they know to do.

Erin Marcus: That's correct. And they just don't know. And they just don't know. 

Daniel Andrews: Yes. 

Erin Marcus: And somebody at the chamber has them convinced that if you give a good 30 second introduction, you become a millionaire. So if people want to continue this conversation and realize, like really realize that there's so much more.

Erin Marcus: They can be creating with the time that they're spending creating these relationships. And we know we can't Google you. Cause you've already told us. 

Daniel Andrews: I can tell you how to find me, but a Google search won't help 

Erin Marcus: you. So please share what is the best way to find you. If 

Daniel Andrews: you're a man or woman of action, right?

Daniel Andrews: I'm going to give you my phone number. 803 361 6825. 803 361 6825. Send me your name. So now I'm talking to her, Johnny or Marcus podcast. And make some reference to the word ninja network building skills, right? If you're the slow roller and you just want to check it out, suss it out, blah, blah, blah.

Daniel Andrews: I'm going to give you the name of my website. You can go there. You can from there figure out how to get to my LinkedIn URL. I make it tricky. You can there figure out how to get on my calendar. It's not as easy as you want it to be. Because I'd rather you text me, because that tells me you're a man and woman of action, right?

Daniel Andrews: But on my LinkedIn profile, scroll down to the recommendations, scroll down to the end, because there's a long list, and look for the word ninja, and see what people had to say about ninja network building skills. Just control F for the word ninja. And you'll know if you want to get in touch with me or not.

Daniel Andrews: But anyway, my website is my full name. Daniel Patrick Andrews dot com. And you can't even Google that because Daniel Patrick Andrews is the name of a bombastic Australian parliamentarian, former mayor of the territory of Victoria, and they Google to Google, Daniel Patrick Andrews will produce about 2 million Google searches.

Daniel Andrews: So you don't want to Google and 

Erin Marcus: I have to find you the old 

Daniel Andrews: way. Not Daniel. Patrick Andrews s on the n.com. That's how you can, or (803) 361-6825. Blow up my phone. That's fine with me. 

Erin Marcus: Awesome. Thank you for hanging out with me today and going deep on this topic because I just, it's so important. I, and I agree with you.

Erin Marcus: There's some of us who kind of move naturally through the world this way, and there's so many people who really want to and they just don't know how. But there is. They want 

Daniel Andrews: to, and they don't know how. And the last thing I'll share is a secret. Whatever list you're stuck around to the end. Introverts have the advantage.

Erin Marcus: Oh my god, so true. So true. 

Daniel Andrews: Introverts have the advantage. Because I'm not going to teach you how to network. I think we should all stop networking immediately. I'm going to teach you how to Build a few quality relationships. 

Erin Marcus: Oh, true. 

Daniel Andrews: That make all the difference. Introverts 

Erin Marcus: are so much better at it. So 

Daniel Andrews: well suited for it.

Daniel Andrews: So 

Erin Marcus: much better at it. 

Daniel Andrews: But don't tell the extroverts because then they won't pay for the coaching. It's important to convince that they need fewer and out more. Absolutely. The introverts already know they need fewer and out more. The output of working with me, by the way, if anybody's curious, 72 to 120 and yes, those numbers are very specific for a reason.

Daniel Andrews: 72 to 120 warm introductions to ideal clients per year on less than five hours, less than five hours a week, less than 

Erin Marcus: you're 

Daniel Andrews: not currently getting it. You should probably consider getting in touch with me. 

Erin Marcus: Thank you. 

Daniel Andrews: Thank you.